How to Survive Pet Loss
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My soul kitty, Princess Jasmine, passed away last October. We walked this life together for 15 years and she meant the world to me. She was a healer, took care of me through some of the hardest years of my life, and understood me better than anyone. Our animal companions are family and angels.
I have not mentioned her death on social media until now. As a medium and end-of-life doula, I am very comfortable talking about death and caring for people during the sacred transition of dying and death. But there is a difference between holding space for others, and experiencing grief firsthand.
I was not comfortable talking about Jasmine’s passing and I honored that feeling and desire to grieve privately.
Everyone’s process with grief will be different. Do what feels right to you.
I go through waves of grief. Some days I will be fine and not think of her much, other days the loss will hit me out of nowhere and I will just start crying. I let myself feel those feelings as they arise. When she first passed, I cried for days. I wondered if I would ever stop crying.
One of my best friends passed away when we were 17. After almost 19 years I still miss him like crazy and as with Jasmine, some days the grief unexpectedly bubbles up and I cry.
I share this to normalize the grief process. There is no right way to grieve and no timeline.
Even though I can communicate with Jasmine, my friend, and my other deceased loved ones mediumistically, it is not a cure-all. It does not change the fact that they have died and I long to hug them again. Long for the mundane things we used to do together that I took for granted at the time.
So do not feel bad if you have experienced the magic of mediumship (either as a medium or by receiving a reading) and still feel sad about the loss of a loved one. Make space for both emotional states.
Mediumship helps, of course!! It is true that our loved ones in Spirit are happy. They are thriving on the other side! We are the ones who are grieving and that is ok. They are still around us and involved in our lives. We are creating a new relationship with them and still have the ability to sense them and communicate with them. But be easy on yourself on the hard days. Sometimes it is all sunshine and rainbows, but some days it is not even close. That is normal and healthy. Be easy on yourself during those times. Be proud of yourself for the little things and for making it through the day.
Mediumship is the most magical and healing thing in the world to me. It is my passion and I have dedicated my life to developing my abilities. The feeling I get when I’m able to help another person to communicate with their loved ones, either through me or by helping them learn to make the connection on their own, is unparalleled. It is a miracle! There is more to life. Life does continue. Everything about us stays alive, we just release our physical bodies and reside in a different frequency.
Freya Jasmine and Lilith
I am so grateful for Princess Jasmine and my two new kittens, Freya Jasmine and Lilith. They came into my life two weeks ago and have filled our home with so much energy and love. I feel a connection to Jasmine through them and they definitely help with the grief. I still miss Jasmine and always will. But knowing that she is well, around me, and I will see her again someday brings me peace.
How to survive grief when your pet dies.
Know that they are still around you. Only the physical body dies, and everything else that makes your pet uniquely them, lives on. Our spirits are eternal.
Ask for a sign.
Rituals
Create an altar
Keep their memory alive by talking about them with your loved ones
Invite them in. talk to them. They can hear you!
Honor all the feelings that come up
Ask your pet to come into your dreams.
Jasmine came into my dreams often after she first passed away, and this brought me so much comfort. The first thing I ask people when they say they would like to dream of their deceased loved one is if they remember their dreams.
If the answer is yes, that is great, just set the intention, and ask your loved one to please visit you. Then let it go. When we want something really bad, it can sometimes block it a bit (not all the time).
If you do not remember your dreams, there are a few things that you can do. First, set the intention to remember your dreams. Start a dream journal and write down what you remember right when you wake up, before you get out of bed. You can do this in with pen and paper, on a document on your phone, or record your voice on your phone. Even if you write, I do not remember what I dreamt, this will let your psyche know that you are paying attention and will help you start to remember. Even if you only remember one image, one word, write it down. You will start remembering. Some of these ideas I learned from psychologist, astrologist, and dream expert, Dr. Michael Lennox.
Another great resource is the book, Dream Tending, by Stephen Aizenstat (2011), clinical psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and founding president of Pacifica Graduate Institute. In a class I took with him, he suggested to make an offering to psyche. This could be something you place under your pillow, a letter, an altar, the options are endless.
9. Pet reincarnation is possible
When my cat died, one of the things that got me through was truly believing that she would reincarnate within the year. I do think that this is possible with pets. For humans, where I am at right now with my perspective on reincarnation for humans is that we do have the option to reincarnate, but not while anyone who knows us is still alive. My sweet kitty did not end up reincarnating, but it is possible she still will someday. She sent me two amazing cats who are perfect for the stage of my life I am in. They are bombproof when it comes to my toddler, whereas my late kitty was the queen of the house and would not stand for the chaos that is in my house right now that is currently ruled by a toddler. In those early stages of grief, I needed that denial of her death to get me through. Now, I miss her everyday, but I am in more acceptance about her being in the spirit world. I feel her around me all the time, and my kitten Lilith reminds me so much of her. I believe that our pets can communicate to us through other pets as well. I do not think that Lilith is a reincarnation of Jasmine, but I feel that Lilith is a sort of medium sometimes for Jasmine, if you will. She has similar personality traits and physical characteristics which seem to make it easier for Jasmine to send signs through Lilith to me such as enacting similar mannerisms.
I hope some of these ideas help to ease your grief. Sending love to all of you who are missing a pet today. ❤️
Kimberly
